When someone you care about is depressed

When someone you care about (e.g., friend or family member) is suffering from depression it can be difficult to know what to do and how to interact with them.  The following points are guidelines to help point you in the right direction.
Get an understanding of depression yourself – learn about what depression is and what it is not.  You can start by going to our depression page. Encourage them to seek help. Many people who suffer from depression believe that they have to tough it out, or may have a belief that it’s weak to seek help.  Pointing out there is help available if they choose to take it up and that treatments for depression have very good evidence behind them, can be helpful.  A good place to start for many people is their GP.  You can also approach a clinical psychologist for help.
Understand that the person may say no to receiving help.  You may have the best will in the world and want the best for your friend/family member but they may not be ready to seek help.  You could explain why you are concerned about them and perhaps provide them with some information – such as a book, or some information from this website. You could also offer to take them to the first appointment. However, it is their decision and while you can outline options for support/help but can’t force them to go to the GP or psychologist.  If you have serious concerns for their safety/wellbeing you can call the crisis line in your area.
Keep in mind that the depressed person cannot just “snap out if it” and similarly, that they can’t simply “get over it”.  You might want to think about how helpful it is for you when you are feeling low, for someone to come along and say “get over it.”  It will usually make the person feel worse.
You can offer support and friendship but you may also need to seek support for yourself.  We know that as a carer of someone affected by depression, you too are likely to be under stress.  Feelings like depression and hopelessness have a way of affecting more than just the depressed person. An essential part of caring for another is to care for yourself.