Learning to accept emotional distress rather than telling yourself to harden up and get over it can help you cope with life’s ups and downs. On holiday in Oxford, I was making sedate progress down the Isis river in a punt. My brother, a lawyer, was propelling the boat forward with a pole while I…
When worry visits… Getting skilful with worry. Instructions: Many people find that their minds are consumed with worry. The following guide may help reduce the time you spend with worry and rumination. This technique has been shown to be effective with worries and may be part of treatment for people who have anxiety disorders. 1. …
Boost mindfulness by bringing awareness to an everyday activity, like hanging out the washing or showering. I knew I had to take my own advice on living in the moment recently when I reviewed my routine in the morning: On my way to the shower I turned on the computer, checked emails, checked the NZ…
The first step to emotional and spiritual intelligence is learning to reflect on your inner life. Many people see a psychologist because they are confused by the dissatisfaction they feel in their work or relationships. They speak of being restless, unsettled and feeling like they don’t have a plan for their lives. Such people have…
Do you have a habit that you wish to change – smoking, overeating, binge drinking – but don’t seem to make any progress? Maybe it is because you are applying a change technique which is not matched to the situation you are in. Many professionals who help people with behaviour change will know it can…
If a child feels cared for, loved and validated, they are more likely to achieve success. A mother’s love is a “dangerous instrument”, said John Watson, an American psychologist and early 20th-century behaviourist. He believed that affection from parents stunts children’s emotional development. What a long way we have come from this way of thinking.…
Can’t sleep? You’re not alone. Whether you experience difficulty falling asleep (onset insomnia), or wake several times during the early morning hours (early-morning insomnia), these simple behavioral interventions can assist in developing good nighttime routines. It can be helpful before you start implementing these interventions, to track information about your sleep as it currently is,…
The creation of positive rituals around your stress and recovery time is likely to be a key to your productivity whether at work or at home. In the early 1980s, psychologist Jim Loehr was trying to figure out the difference between tennis stars and those who played well but didn’t quite make it to the…
We’re all probably familiar with the feeling: a sense of regret as we contemplate the approaching end of our holiday. Here are a few tips for easing back into your routine. I asked another psychologist who’d recently returned from a Hawaiian holiday what she practices when trying to readjust to reality. Here are our combined…
Once you identify the triggers that are specific to you, maintaining a healthy lifestyle is much easier. To eat less, you have to put less food in your mouth. Easy, right? If only it were that simple. People who have tried a number of different diets often realise that maintaining a healthy weight is less…